WindoW

2006-10-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

"Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse is required reading for our English class. I have read but a few pages but I've gained so much from it. Siddhartha's longing for somthing more than this world, beyond the illusory nature of things, people, emotions that come to pass, resound my own emptiness but a few years ago. He ought to be happy, living in the favor of his family and being loved by all. But he was seeking something more...a union with the Great Being. His criticism of the Samanas [ascetics] also recalled the very ideas I had against salvation through self-renunciation. As Siddhartha have said [in the book at least], these ascetics will live sixty, seventy years in seclusion, but they will never attain Nirvana.

Siddhartha is a very interesting character. But, I wonder if he was able to meet Christ, what would've happened? He would find the fulfillment he so desired for, and he'll never go thirsty again. I bet not even Buddha had right understanding, right thought, right speech, right meditation, much less right actions, all the time. But Christ, he's perfect. There is none like him.

Why am I so convicted of this? I believe, and I know, that God is the true God, the creator of this reality I live in. I haven't seen him physically, but my heart knows and loves him. I've seen him work in my life and change me like no philosophy or teaching has done, ever.

♥

2006-10-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

Things I think I need to be constantly reminded of

♥ Physical appearance doesn't matter but the goodness of one's heart.

♥ Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and the perfect will of God. Romans 12:2.

♥ What would Jesus do?

♥ Do not dwell in the pleasures of sense. Bhagavad-gita.

♥ We put our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18.

♥ Whatever you do, do all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31.

More like Christ each day

♥

2006-10-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

God is indeed so faithful. He's been working so powerfully in my life, and I see myself continually being transformed, refined, molded. Thank God for his goodness and wisdom.

But right now I am exposed to the wickedness of this generation, and I am deeply saddened because of their perverted ways and my own inability to rebuke them. I pray that I will be able to stand up against them, even if they are my friends, for the sake of what is good and right.

Thing is I have a classmate who's being strongly discriminated against. I must say my classmates are entitled to their own opinions, but it's disgusting, their insensitivity and immaturity. They don't have the right to speak ill of others just because he/she happens to be different.

♥

2006-10-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

This day is full of blessings and new lessons learned. I would particularly like to relate what happened to STR today, since it really struck me as God's reminder of where I should set my eyes on.

Our past lesson was about sampling methods, and we had a sampling exercise done at school. Unfortunately, I was in Davao at that time attending Auntie Sasing's funeral. Upon my return I found out that my groupmates employed an inappropriate sampling method. I was to write a report on that exercise due the following day, so I found myself in a dilemma because it's beyond me to write about a wrong method.

So I suggested to my groupmates that we repeat the sampling, and we did random sampling that afternoon. As I set out to write the report that same night, I found really obvious biases in our second sampling. Once again, the same problem arises.

I was really desperate just to get something done for our written report so I just did my best to "justify" the method I knew was wrong. But that was just half the battle; there was also the oral report which we had today. I had been worried sick every day for that oral report. Just ask Karina; I think she was really getting annoyed at my ceaseless anxious ramblings for an entire week.

So this afternoon we had the long-anticipated oral report. The first part went well, but when it came to the part whre we had to justify our sampling method, Sir Tafalend had this "eh?" look on his face and asked a deluge of questions. For a while my groupmates tried to defend our weak fortress, until I was finally behooved to admit, "Actually, using stratified random sampling does not affect the results of the study. Our group realizes its mistake and if we were to repeat the sampling exercise..." dot dot dot.

I realized how futile it was to try to hide beneath a crumbling wall. It may look like it can stand on its own, but really, test its true nature and it collapses. It felt so good to admit our (my) mistake [I appropriated the fault to my own frailty]. If we were only to be honest with ourselves and admit that we are weak behind the facade, only then could we be saved.

So I guess I have said farewell to my uno in STR long before, but what I have gained is something of far greater value. All my efforts amount to nothing and my world can come crashing down in seconds, but in God alone I stand secure. I am strong because I am weak and I put my trust in him.

♥

2006-09-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

Boo-hoo.

1. Nawawala sci cal ko.
2. Another relative dead. (Life is indeed vapor...)
3. Hindi ko kayang i-justify ang maling sampling method.

Looking forward to next week. :D

2006-09-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

Deprived.

Ang saya ko nung nag-brownout. Alam ko maraming nainis, nagalit, nagmukmok nung nawalan ng kuryente pero ako natuwa. Masyado kasing umaasa sa teknolohiya ang karamihan ng tao. Tanggalin mo ito sa kanya, at makikita niya na may buhay pala siya.

Walang ilaw kaya sama-sama kami sa paligid ng ningas. Walang nanonood ng TV, walang nagco-computer, walang nagsosolo. Bihira lang kami magkuwentuhan nang ganon.

Haha. Baka anachronism lang ako. Ewan. Pero minsan nga iniisip ko parang mas masaya ang buhay noon, nung mahirap ang buhay.

2006-09-24T17:19:00.000-07:00

Sana hindi nila ako binigyan ng mga grades na hindi naman karapat-dapat na kabayaran sa effort, or rather lack of effort, na ipinakita ko. Sana hindi ako na-DL last quarter. Sana nagsimula na lang ako sa mababang grades para may dahilan akong lalong magpunyagi.Kaso hindi eh. Biyaya na nga yung natanggap ko, hindi pa ako nagbalik ng pasasalamat.

[Sorry rin, tok. Setyembre na pero hanggang orientation pa lang kami.]

Kung kailan ako nagsisisi sa mga kakulangan ko, wala sa oras naman akong nabigyan ng karagdagang pananagutan. Noong nakaraang linggo ay napagkasunduan ng Cesium na ako'y ihirang na bagong pangulo. Nakakatakot ang responsibilidad, kasi alam kong ako ang masisisi kung may kapalpakan. Hindi ako umaasa sa kakayahan ko, pero alam kong may matatag akong Saligan. Siya lang ang dahilan kung bakit nakakayanan ko pang tumayo at humarap sa mga panibagong araw. Walang nakakaalam na lagi akong nanghihina, pero hindi halata dahil hindi ako nauubusan ng mga ngiti. Salamat lang talaga sa kasiyahan na binibigay Niya...sacred delight...eternal joy...hindi ako mapapasuko ng kahit ano.

So mark my words. Hindi to hanggang pagsisisi at pagmumuni-muni lamang.* Magiging mas maingat na ako sa paggasta ng oras. Hindi ko sasayangin ang mga pagkakataong ibinibigay sa akin; sisiguruhin kong hindi lulubog ang araw na sinayang ko ang maghapon. Hindi naman yan mahirap kung aalahanin ko na hindi ako nandito para magpaka-banidosa o magtampisaw sa mga layaw.

And with that, I end my speech. :)

P.S. [Gaya nga ng sabi ng imbento kong kasabihan, The overexamined life is not worth living.]

2006-09-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

Happy day.

Happy Birthday Victor Louis E. Crisostomo and Marla de Castro!

Advanced Happy birthday na rin kina sir Alfer, Aiki, at Angelica sa September 13.Belated happy birthday Chu!! XDOhoho! Andaming people may birthday sa September. Sana lahat sila manlilibre. :D

---
I know, I know. Sobrang inactive na ng blogging life ko. Guess I learned how to live my life. Hinde joke lang. Naku, kelangan pa pala ng 10 posts before Sep 15 para sa comsci.

---
Chem long test kanina--kaso lang di ko alam na may long test pala. XD Ayos lang, hindi naman gaanong mahirap gaya ng in-expect ko. Nakakainis lang kasi ambaho ng kwarto kasi nagbaha raw yung creek--putikan pa yung sahig. Buti na lang, by Thursday daw baka may Chem teacher na rin kami sa wakas. Sana magaling siya. Pero wala pa rin talagang papalit kay Sir G.Pamatay yung 2 magkasunod na quiz kanina sa Physics--feeling ko ambobo-bobo ko na!

Happy day ngayon. Pati yung Physics masaya kasi nakakatawang isipin na hindi ko masagot yung mga tanong. Hindi yan sarkastiko a. Natutuwa talaga ako kasi ang tanga-tanga ko. Tama ba yun? Pagtawanan ang pagka-shunga shunga? XD

Tapos nag-CS Lib kami nina Vic, Karina, Angel, Reinier, Ian at Aldrine. Nakita namin si Sir G! Pinagkaguluhan namin siya, tapos hindi namin napigilan ang aming sarili at nauwi sa hindi magandang pangyayari. Ay, ano yun?! Joke lang uli, nagsigawan lang naman kami ng "SIR G!!!" tapos yung lang. Corny no.

Research-research na kami. Bonding session siyempre. Nakahanap na rin ako ng sources para sa RRL. Yes, kinacareer ko na ang STR. Tapos kumain kami sa walang-kamatayang Mcdo. Waaah. Naaalala ko tuloy yung McDo moments namin nina Sarah/Beila/Noelyn na umaabot ng ilang oras dahil ang sarap magkwentuhan. Hoy, McDo naman tayo uli. Miss ko na kayo. Ahiii, kilig.

---
Ayan lang naman ang nangyari today. Carefree pa ang dating ko ngayon kasi ayoko muna isipin yung mga mabibigat na bagay. Basta, happy day ngayon. :D

2006-09-02T17:13:00.000-07:00

more than just 10 minutes

Those who sow in tears
Shall reap in joy.

Ah, how true. Like Hesse's Siddhartha, I had to experience despair, I had to sink to the greatest mental depths, in order to experience grace.

After several weeks of practice, the cheerers [+ boosters] had the final practice yesterday night. But before that, we huddled together and shouted the "war cry"... O-O-O o8 HA!. I heard someone yell, "All for God!" and I was reminded once again of my real audience. I dance for the audience of One alone.

So there I was, giving it my all, when I twisted my ankle during the dismounting in one pyramid. Still I continued on until the end of the routine. Can you imagine that, I was smiling and cheering so energetically in spite of the intense pain? That was the only time when I really thought, gosh, cheering is hypocrisy. It was the only time I faked the smiles. Of course I just laugh it off now, but it was really, really, really, painful then. My foot's even swelling until now.

And because we had to finish everything in the routine that night, and Joseph and I even took over our class' batch shirt distribution and inventory [not that we were obliged to, but who else would?], I was in Pisay till 10pm. Angel was kind enough to take us with her-- her car became our school bus. She's such an angel! But alas, I was still out by midnight--way beyond any acceptable curfew for "good girls", as I am supposed to be associated with.

What happened next is predictable enough. My father was furious. His voice was so loud on the phone. How could you allow yourself to stay out so late? Why do you never think about the worry you cause other people? Why do you have to be so stupid when it comes to your own safety? I was really sorry and I understood that he was just concerned about me.

I know. Sometimes I'm just too self-sacrificing, and even my own father get mad at me for taking too much at my own expense. But I can't help it if I care more about the greater good. It's not because I'm pressured into cheering that I give so much effort into practices, it's not for whatever I may get from it, it's not for pleasing people. It's something I committed to, and I do it for the batch. I do it for God. I do it for its sake.

Yes, I understood his concern. But this I did not understand. You're not going to the Family Day tomorrow.

My jaw dropped. I thought that only happens in loony cartoons and exaggerated shows, but my jaw actually dropped when I heard that sanction. Angel, Gabby, Joseph, and Sarah were talking and laughing in the car. My father was shouting on the other line. But I hear nothing, just the coldness of that hasty, unfair sentence.

A million protests coursed through my mind, but I couldn't verbalize a single one.

After the call was ended, I couldn't help it. I just broke down. And this is the part that I love... because in my weakness God's power is made perfect; His grace is always sufficient. After all, who am I to say that I don't need comfort? I love it when I see tears, because in tears we admit our weakness, in our weakness, we admit His glory...

And I love it when people I consider my friends show genuine concern for me. To the people I was with last night, thanks for all your care. I now know that I do have real friends I could turn to. Joseph, thanks for the crash course on "Handling Difficult Situations and Strategies on Talking to Parents 101". Angel, thank you so much for the ride home... your parents were so wonderful too. Gabby and Sarah, thank you for making the hurt bearable.

I woke up early, not certain of what was to happen. I know I was supposed to stay at home, but that's just not right. I was determined to go, but going without permission was out of the question. That's just stupid. I don't want to be confrontational with my parents, but how would I convince my father to allow me to go?

By 6:30, Leki and Chiara were calling me. What now? I could tell my father was still angry. So I told him that I'm so sorry for the irresponsible attitude I displayed last night, but it's unfair that I should not be allowed to go. I'm not saying I'm indispensable, but every one on the team is important. And should weeks of preparation--all the time, energy, and resources spent be disregarded because of an irrational burst of anger?

After what seemed like eternity, I was allowed to go. I can't describe how joyful I felt then. It was like I was released from chains. Praise God! I arrived at Pisay with just enough time to spare for dressing up and a bit of stretching.

During the compe, the cheerers and boosters were "prisoners" in the dance room. Twas a wise measure to keep us from watching the other batches perform. Our focus shifted from beating the other teams to being winners in ourselves. During the performance, I just gave it my all--as if there's no tomorrow. I really enjoyed dancing out there, we were so great! Go 08! The boosters were so powerful, the dancers were all together, even other batches were cheering us on. It was just awesome.

After the cheering, it didn't matter at all what the judges' decision would be. We did great, we did our best, we cheered the crowd. If ever we'd get first place, that would be just a bonus. I really didn't think much of the place we'd get anymore. But we did win, and it wouldn't be possible if it were not for all the parents and teachers and everyone who supported us. I will definitely miss the practices! And the bananas [pampalakas ng tuhod], siopitos, gatorade, and the big blue floor mats that we all set up. Everything we did for cheering is more than just the ten minutes of our performance. I'm really glad because of the unity and camaraderie and fun and all the good stuff that comes with working together. It was so uplifting to see us work together and set aside our groups and differences for the common good.

Juniors, we're juniors; We're simply the best!

2006-08-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

eric redondo: hello
popolin_pinya: hello...:)
eric redondo: c pauline batoh?
popolin_pinya: yep
eric redondo: ohw.
eric redondo: well
eric redondo: may i ask a favor?
eric redondo: :D
popolin_pinya: ahuh
eric redondo: may i have your autograph? :)
popolin_pinya: hahaha :D

Ah yes. I would have felt giddy girly shivers down my spine three years ago. But now, it's amazing. I would never have dared dream of this moment, but here it is. I know that His timing is always perfect, and I have not the understanding of His wisdom. But on hindsight, everything in my life makes sense, and it would not be probable that the events on my life happened by chance. It's just too meaningful. It's just too amazing. There must be someone who wrote all this without my knowing or cooperation.

I know you wouldn't understand this; there's only one person who would.

2006-08-28T04:42:00.000-07:00

Omigod it's like so long na since I last made sulat-sulat here...Grrr I so have to make bawi-bawi na but I'm kinda not in the mood to write... coz you know naman we have so many homeworks and it's so nakakaasar kasi like they're all about writing... and they make insist pa that creative non-fiction is a genre, and then that persuasive essay pa made sira-sira my beauty sleep. and I so hate being forced to write, it like dulls my creativity ya know... ya and look what happens when teachers make like pilit-pilit to squeeze output...it's like my brain cells suddenly stopped working and I'm reduced to someone with an IQ of an ipis.. Yuck! That's so kadiri...

Anyway since I started na making conyo talk [not the coño conyo but the conyo conyo], I'll make panindigan na this stuff. After all, I said dati I'll write in straight lingo na, no halo-halo...so there I'm writing in straight conyo. It's like an oxymoron no, pero it makes perfect sense when you're mababaw like me...or at least now lang...

Exams are finally over...My gosh it's so nakakainip to wait for the results...I'm like, making kagat-kagat my nails all the time because of the suspense...it's so nakakakaba...And what's nakakaasar pa is I don't know what will happen to my chem exam. My answers so like suck. And I didn't have time to review pa, it's so haba kasi eh.

The only exam I made alam the result na is physics. Thank God it's mataas naman, I felt kasi I had to maintain this standard since Sir Angeles told me some of the most inspiring words I ever dinig last year. Dati kasi I endured physics for the sake of Sir Angeles, he's so galing kasi and I don't want to let him down. But now I learned to love physics for its own sake. Yuck I sound like such a nerd no? To my friends and classmates naman who didn't get a good score on the exam, don't make suko. Your sikap will be rewarded naman no, and I'm also here to make tulong if you need me. :)

ü ♥

Lagi na lang akong bangag. Basta abangan niyo na lang kung kelan ako magpo-post ng matino. Masaya kasi yung magpost ng kalokohan eh. Pero pramis balang araw [malapit-lapit na rin naman] matino na talaga.

2006-08-27T17:21:00.000-07:00

Kakatapos lang ng prac exam. Buti naman nakahabol ako kahit 3 days akong absent. Hay, mahal na mahal ko talaga ang photoshop. Buti na lang napunta ako sa oop-web at hindi networking... ito na ang pinakamadaling com sci so far. ^_^

Everything has a reason. I would never have imagined that I would end up in this school, in this class, with these people I'm with, with the knowledge I have, with the understanding I've gained.

I always find it remarkable that I was once a little girl who knew nothing of this world. But that is still me, and I am still that little girl. The past, the present, and the future are one. That baby born fifteen years ago is me, that toddler dancing in the rain is me, that aspirant taking the Pisay exam is me. I am a freshman, a sophomore, a junior, a senior. I am a grown person. I am a lifeless corpse. We have the same thoughts, same manner, same person. But there was something that changed, and it has changed me forever. I am a new creation, I am a new person, but nevertheless there is the continuity.

Don't get it? Well, I guess only select people would...

2006-08-26T03:35:00.000-07:00

So. Tapos na ang Ramayana, di-kumbensyunal na musika naman ang iintindihin ng mga estudyante. At dagdag pa diyan ang family day at cheering competition na talaga namang kina-career ng juniors. Whew! Ay oo nga pala, card-giving na rin. Kinakabahan talaga ako, pero kung ano mang grade ang makuha ko this quarter, tatanggapin ko na lang at pagbubutihin pa sa susunod.

Haaay. Wala talaga akong source of inspiration ngayon, pero may everlasting source of joy. :) Medyo nagu-guilty nga lang ako kasi hindi na ako nakaka-attend ng ACTS fellowship dahil sa cheering practices. Eh kung tutuusin, mas long-term ang involvement sa ACTS at sa pag-invest ng time kay God kesa sa cheering na yan. Di bale, ipprioritize ko talaga activities ko this quarter.

This quarter. This quarter. There's this irrefutable (so far) second quarter curse. Will I beat it this time?

P.S. Happy birthday Tricia! :)

2006-08-25T05:42:00.000-07:00

Sir Martin:Secularism is a myth manufactured by modernity.

Gave me something to think about..at first I found it bizarre, but the more I think about it, I see that there is truth to it somehow, and then there was that "aha!" moment when I finally accepted it.

And about the brain-washing thing...c'mon, are pisay students that gullible?But there were times last year when I found myself questioning the way some teachers preach conservative moral values...especially in topics about birth control and contraceptives and stuff...but then again that's why we're supposed to criticize and look closely about the things that define our thinking, even if they come from teachers, lest we fall victim to the false consciousness constructed by influential people.

----
Alright! Research briefs for STR MOVED! I don't know how I would be able to manage otherwise...

---
Took Math 4 and Chem long tests today. Hope I did well! Then there was the endurance test for PE, was able to finish 10 laps in 10min25s. Didn't attend cheering practice; I was just so tired after swimming..

---
I still have to write another essay for Fil. Nakakahiya, mas dayuhan pa sa kin ang sariling wika. I find it hard to write well in Filipino. Sure, I can string up words and form sensible sentences, but it seems like my brain's "language" is set to English and I would have to translate my thoughts before coming up with the appropriate equivalent of the words I'm looking for. Now isn't that sad.

2006-08-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

Sa wakas...magprepresent na ang Cesium ng chamber theater production ng Ramayana. 3:20 pm, 4th floor audi. Manood kayo ah! Orayt.

~

Ilang linggong dugo't pawis rin yan...mga isa? Hehe. Nung nag-dry run (kuno) kami nung Friday, sobrang sabog. Hiyang-hiya ako kaya na-pressure talaga akong ayusin pa yung acting. MARAMING SALAMAT kay Vic dahil tinulungan niya yung directors, kahit nung Saturday at Monday lang siya nag-"acting director", kasi naka-focus kami ni Chu sa narrators naman.

In fairness marami kaming na-practice nung weekend, na hindi ko talaga in-expect kasi alam niyo naman kapag nagpa-practice, laging pahirapan ipagseryoso yung mga tao. Siyempre may mga distractions pa rin kasi ba naman may nagdala pa ng soccer ball, baraha, jump rope at whatever chuvalyn. Pero masaya ako sa outcome so far, noong una kasi tingin ko hindi nila ma-feel yung urgency ng pagpractice. Siguro nakuha na rin nila yung message after so many, "Cesium, please lang, kailangan na talaga to..." or, "Pwede ba magseryoso muna tayo? Mamaya na kayo maglaro..." and, "Yan na ba ang ipapakita niyo sa stage?"

Nanggagalaiti talaga ako sa mga nagsasabing, "Hindi pa naman kailangan maganda eh, practice lang naman." Yun na nga yon eh. Kung hindi nila maipakita kung anong dapat ipakita sa practice, paano pa kaya sa actual presentation? Kailan pa, saan pa sila makakapag-practice? Pero thank God wala na akong nakitang attitude na ganun nung Monday. Hay naku, Pisay talaga, kapag malapit na lang yung deadline namo-motivate.

Yun. Tapos pinanood namin yung Sodium, lalo kaming na-inspire mag-practice. Walang sked ng practice kaninang hapon pero gusto nila eh. Happy na talaga ako sa ipapakita namin. Pero siyempre may igaganda pa yun, pero kuntento na ako kahit na anong grade ibigay nila, kasi alam kong pinaghirapan namin yun at praktisado talaga yung mga actors, at may input naman lahat. Wala na akong paki sa grade, basta maka-perform lang kami.

Kanina nag-last-minute shopping kami ni chu sa SM para sa kailangan pang stuff. Natutunan namin na kapag maghahanap ng safety pin, hindi yun naiintindihan ng salesladies kaya "perdible" ang dapat na term. At marami-rami na rin kaming natutunan sa techniques sa pagtipid ng make-up, pagkakaiba ng eye pencil sa eye liner at ang kagandahan ng cheek stain--salamat dun sa babae sa Watson's. Hanggang 9pm nga kami paikot-ikot sa SM e...at haaay buti naman mahimbing na akong makakatulog.

2006-08-20T05:58:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed of Jolo and Ludwin [former classmates na di ko nakikita for the longest time]. Ang weird, I never even spared a single conscious brain cell to think about them, and here they are turning up in my dreams. And then my sister and I were swimming [I was even wearing the pisay swimsuit-haha!] but there was a reptilian creature that secretes a kind of poison in the pool, so we called on the whale and helped him fight the reptile. :)) Then I took a shower inside the shower room--which was inside Max's Restaurant.

Oookay. I usually have dreamless nights, but now that I have the luxury to sleep longer than usual, I think I'm going insane.

--
Cheering practice today was exhausting. And we're not even done with half of the entire routine! My whole body's aching. But well, I love what I'm doing and I know that God will sustain me even if I feel I can no longer take the burden of all my responsibilities. Aja!

Be anxious for nothing..., ephesians 4:6. Indeed I will.

2006-08-19T03:51:00.000-07:00

Oh, the wretchedness of me.

I don't know what's gonna happen to my grades. I don't know the outcome of our crappy Ramayana play. I don't know what's gonna happen to the cheering team's performance. I don't know if Cesium's gonna make it to the non-conventional music contest.

Nevertheless I trust in only one who would provide a way through every situation, every challenge. No problem ahead of me is greater than the force behind me.

So, I trust not in my own abilities, knowledge, or skills, but by the power of God.

Sometimes the most profound things can be expressed by the scarcity of words. Words are nothing if it were not for the truth behind them, and one should not judge the content of a text or the wisdom of one based on the abundance of words. I would rather speak one word of truth than a hundred words of foolishness.

I am a wretched worm, into thy arms I fall.

2006-08-18T03:29:00.000-07:00

This happened last year, when Chemistry was so challenging for me. Now? Well, let's just say I'm more than thankful that Sir G is teaching Cesium. He's so amazing!

26 August 2005

Friday.

It was a Friday and classes were crammed into shortened periods. Under normal circumstances it would be a cause of celebration for me, but not this Friday.This was when our first Chemistry long test for the second quarter was scheduled. I fear this day, not because I suck at Chemistry, nor was I intimidated by the lessons. I was afraid I might come in late, like I always do. I didn't want to reduce the only 40 minutes we had to answer the long test.

You might foresee now what happened during that day. I came in twenty minutes late, so I only get half the time when I was supposed to be answering the test. Tragic, yes. I was panicking like hell, I don't know if I was even thinking clearly. I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't get anything right in that test. The topic was about Simple Stoichiometry, and I knew quite well that there were so many things to bear in mind-- moles, grams, molar mass, limiting reagents, percent yields...the list goes on. Who knows how complicated the problems were.

There were three problems, and there were two questions for the first two problems. The third problem was easy to solve, but it involved a lot of calculations and conversion factors. I had just finished answering the first problem when Sir Segarra announced, "Five minutes left."I knew right then that any hopes of getting a satisfactory score would be nothing to the reality of the situation. But still I had to try; I had to do my best.

2006-08-17T03:23:00.000-07:00

Ayoko nang mabihag muling mga tanikalang iyon

Ayoko na, ayoko na, ayoko na
Ngunit hindi ko rin matiis
ang mawalay sa piling
ng mga ito

Mapaglinlang, at alam ko'y di dapat
ngunit...

ngunit

ako'y nagpapakahangal.